Are you rushing your present to get to your better future?

To make sense of our existence, we perceive time as a series of moments happening in a forward-moving sequential mode. Doctor Albert Einstein argued that “the distinction between the past, the present, and the future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.” Nevertheless, because most of us are not brilliant physicists, we conceptualize our lives in the context of memories, the moment we are living in, and thoughts of how we believe things are going to develop. Stories of the past and imaginary futures are good survival tools. They help us learn from experience and create plans for what we want to do. These ideas, for good or for ill, also influence our consciousness. Some of our most common civilization’s mental ailments — like anxiety, post-traumatic stress, or obsessive compulsiveness — are partly associated with truths that only live in our heads. When the stories we tell ourselves about the past and the future block our capacity to feel joy in the present, they become something that we must pay attention to.

The effects past experiences have on our psyche are too complex to address in a short article, and frankly, a theme better left to mental health professionals. On the flip side, the present is where we can hold onto our power by creating habits that will help us pursue the future as we want it. One essential tool is effective time optimization, which is different from what many might think.  Hint: it is not about more; it is about less.

The history of time measurement goes back to five thousand years. Different civilizations sought to calculate months and days to organize planting, harvesting, and community activities. The results were calendars based on constellations, lunar cycles, and seasons, which formalized a “planning for the future” way of doing things. Today, it is not unusual to rush through the present while over-focusing on the future. The busiest we are, the more productive we seem to be, which should logically put us closer to our goals. Without noticing, we fall into a cycle where we are constantly living today to build something for tomorrow.

Furthermore, it is almost impossible to be part of modern society without feeling like we need to keep up. Schedules and calendar invitations seem to take control of our lives, and we give up, thinking that we can do nothing. More people are realizing each day that this is not the way they want to live.

In coaching, we embrace ideas such as “follow your dreams” and “live in the moment.” Although they might sound incompatible, they are both crucial beliefs to hold. If we are always living for tomorrow, we miss today’s experiences and fail to connect with the world around us. If we are always living in the moment, we will likely have little say on how things will turn out. Finding harmony is the obvious choice; but is that easy to accomplish? Maybe it is, if you look for clarity and establish some habits to help you find the right balance for you. Here are a few things you can start doing today to practice living in the moment while following your dreams.

1. Schedule less, not more. Scheduling your days can give you good structure. Even if you don’t follow your plans to the dot, it provides a roadmap for using your time effectively. A common error is to squeeze in another “extra thing” because we want to make the most of our time and accomplish more goals. Nevertheless, trying to put too much on your schedule is counterproductive. It will only create more stress and less likeability that you will accomplish anything at all. When trying to reach for the starts, aim to only a few so that you can actually make it there.
2. Decide the three most important things for you to accomplish today and stick to them. Have you ever heard the saying, “if you want something done, ask a busy person?” If you are thinking right now, “hey, I am that busy person!” then you are in trouble. New things to do will always come up. People will always reach out for your help. You cannot fault them; they do not know how much there is on your plate. You are the only one who can put a limit to the number of things to which you say yes. Be vigilant, and do not be distracted by the latest shiny opportunity. Focus on what you have set yourself to do. Imagine how much you could enjoy the present with that newfound “not busy time.”
3. Schedule for down and unproductive time. When scheduling our activities, it is easy to forget to separate time for decompressing and rest or even notes, clean-up, and follow-up. Today, with the easy accessibility of virtual conferences, we tend to program back-to-back meetings without allowing enough time to wrap up or get organized. It is essential to separate uninterrupted time in your calendar to do these. This is especially important if you are overambitious and, perhaps, unrealistic about how much you can accomplish in a period of time. Remember to build time around each activity that will allow you to finish what you started.
4. Accept that life happens, and you cannot do everything. Sometimes you will face the sad reality that everything you planned goes down the drain, and you must improvise. It might be big plans, like family trips or a special celebration, or just the fact that you could not get to your to-do list in a day. Unfortunately, as the pandemic demonstrated, our magnificent plans can change overnight. If you are sick or not having your best day, your body will not find the energy to focus on all those things you set up yourself to do. It is ok. Life happens; give yourself a break. Accept the things you cannot control.
5. Set the right kind of goals for you. Many times, we set unrealistic goals. We put extra pressure, because well, “we can do anything we set our minds to.” Certainly, determination and perseverance play a significant role in accomplishing what you want. Still, as I mentioned above, sometimes there are factors in life, such as unforeseen circumstances or even the resources to which we have access. If you set your goals in a flexible, surprise-proof manner, there are more chances you can accomplish them. As we get closer to the end of the year, you probably will be thinking more about New Year’s resolutions. Look for some good tips on setting the right goals for you in my next article.

Planning for the future allows us not only to reach our personal dreams but also to create together. This makes us unique in the animal kingdom. Certainly, many other living organisms are capable of organizing themselves. Still, as far as we know, no other reaches humans’ abilities for planning. This same advantage has accelerated the way we function and created a system in which many of our actions today are simply a conduit to the idea of our future lives. To make the most of your experiences, work hard at balancing your plans for tomorrow with actually living today.